


See a Spider, Kill a Spider (Or How Kurapika’s Reflexes are Going to Get Him Into Trouble Some Day)

by Aer



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Humor, M/M, Meet-Cute, Spiders, This is about 2 steps away from being a crack fic, but that’s what you get when you give me coffee and stick me in a car for 12 hours
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:34:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25019356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aer/pseuds/Aer
Summary: Chrollo hadn’t started his day with the expectation of being slapped. He was however, very good at rolling with the punches- or slaps, in this case.Kurapikadefinitelyhadn’t startedhisday planning to slap a stranger, but his days very rarely went as planned.Or:Meet-cute, slapping edition.
Relationships: Kuroro Lucifer | Chrollo Lucifer/Kurapika
Comments: 20
Kudos: 285





	See a Spider, Kill a Spider (Or How Kurapika’s Reflexes are Going to Get Him Into Trouble Some Day)

**Author's Note:**

> I recently completed a cross country move by car. This is what my over caffeinated brain came up with somewhere around the third day stuck in said car, I laughed myself silly, and my friend and traveling companion enabled it into a fic. This is not beta-ed, mostly because I’m not sure it deserves the dignity of one.

_Crack!_

The slap echoed through the cafe, the impact of flesh on flesh silencing every conversation and drawing every eye to the drama suddenly in their midst.

For his part, Chrollo was mostly just trying to work feeling back into his abruptly numb cheek. Then it _did_ , and he wanted the numbness _back_. A bright and painful heat was spreading across his face, undoubtedly in the shape of his assailant’s hand. The man had certainly hit hard enough. 

As one might be able to guess, this was not Chrollo’s first time being on the receiving end of a righteous slap. It wasn’t even the first time he’d been slapped without a word of warning first. It was, however, the first time he’d been slapped by someone he didn’t even vaguely _recognize_ , and as such, had no clue what might have led to the violence.

Frowning, Chrollo traced the events of the last few moments back. He’d just ordered his drink and paid, and had stepped aside to wait. The slapper had been behind him in line, and had placed an order as well, before turning to follow Chrollo to the little area to the side of the counter to wait as well. That was all fairly standard. It was right _after_ that things had gone from zero to bizarre real fast. 

The door bell had jingled, and Chrollo had turned to look to see if his friends had finally shown up. This had left him facing towards his companion, which he had absently noted was quite good looking. Most days, Chrollo probably would have flirted a bit, tried to get a phone number, but he was already running late thanks to his friends’ tardiness and didn’t have time. The blond had looked back at him calmly- for a moment. 

Then, a look of mute horror had frozen that pretty face for a good five seconds. Chrollo had actually been about to ask if he’d been alright, but, well. Then the slap had happened, and Chrollo had been a little too busy dealing with _being slapped_ to worry about what was going on with his assailant. 

Caught back up to the present, Chrollo had to admit, he still had no idea why the blond had decided introduce his palm to Chrollo’s face without so much as a word. They stared at each other in silence for a long moment, Chrollo’s face starting to throb. The blond was slowly going red. Chrollo opened his mouth to say- something-

“Large vanilla latte!” The barista shouted. The slapper’s face went from pink blush to tomato in an instant, and shoving a napkin at Chrollo with a mumbled word that might, possibly, have been an apology, he turned and fled. Chrollo watched him go with bemusement, before finally heading to the counter to pick up his coffee. It suddenly felt inadequate- Chrollo was fairly sure to understand what had just happened he would have needed at least twice the number of espresso shots, but he just took the drink and headed out front to wait. 

Ten minutes and several strange looks later, Pakunoda, Shalnark, and Machi finally made an appearance. They were also giving him a strange look. Chrollo quirked an eyebrow. 

“Danchou?” Machi ventured. “Why do you have a dead spider on your cheek?”

* * *

“Kill. Me. Now.” Kurapika mumbled, shoving his burning face into his folded arms as he slumped against the library table. 

“Told you I wasn’t doing that anymore.” Killua responded distractedly, tapping at his phone. “Illumi might do it if you ask him nicely though.” 

Kurapika blindly stuck out a hand. “Give me your phone, I’ll do it right now.” He said, still into the crook of his arm. 

“Nah. Too much paperwork if you die. I’d be one of the suspects and I don’t feel like answering questions.” Killua sounded very unconcerned. “What did you do, anyway?” 

Kurapika groaned piteously. “Don’t wanna talk about it.” 

“Yo! Killua, what did you do to Kurapika?” Leorio’s question was more teasing than anything, and Kurapika glared into the table.

“Kurapika, are you alright?” That, at least sounded genuinely concerned, proving once again that Gon was the best of them.

“Nothing.” Killua said, still completely unbothered. “Kurapika did something, though, and now he wants to die.” 

“Please.” Kurapika agreed. Death would come as a relief right now. Chairs scraped against the ground as they took a seat around the table. 

“What happened?” Gon asked. Kurapika groaned again, but finally lifted his head to look at his friends, very aware his face was still hot and red. Gon was seated across from him, eyes wide and mouth set in a worried frown. Next to him, Killua still hadn’t looked up from his phone. 

“I just slapped a very attractive stranger in the face and ran away.” Kurapika buried his face back in his arms. 

“Pff-ff-ft-ahahaahahahahhaaa!” Killua tried to suppress his laugh at Kurapkia’s misfortune for all of a single second, the blond noted sourly. Not that the other two were much better, Leorio snorting and Gon giggling helplessly. 

“W-w- _why_?” Leorio finally gasped out. 

“He had a spider on his face.” Kurapika mumbled. 

“What?”

“He had a spider on his face.” Kurapika said again, louder.

“Sorry, what?” Kurapika jerked upright, glaring.

“I said he had a spider on his face!” He almost yelled, and immediately received several irritated shushing noises from the other patrons of the library. His face flamed anew, and he returned to the shelter of his arms.

“Yeah, you’re definitely having a bad day.” Leorio agreed sympathetically. Kurapika would have felt better about that if Leorio hadn’t also _still been laughing_. A large hand came up and stroked soothingly down his hair, so he figured he could forgive the man just this once. 

“And you didn’t try to explain this? Or just warn him instead of going straight for hitting him?” Killua asked, fascinated. Oh sure, _now_ he was interested. Kurapika scowled. 

“I panicked, ok?” He grumbled. “It was one of those big brown ones, the ones that hurt like hell if they bite you? You know how much I hate spiders, so I just... panicked.” 

“And hit a stranger in the face.” Killua finished, sounding far too amused. Gon was still giggling. 

Kurapika moaned in despair and tried to shove his head further into his arms. He banged his nose into the table instead. “And I ran out without getting my coffee, so now I’m embarrassed _and_ under caffeinated.” He added grumpily. His friends snickered at him, and Kurapika kicked out under the table. Killua’s yelp was very satisfying. The immediate return kick, less so. 

Before they could really escalate, they were interrupted.

“Double shot caramel macchiato with whipped cream?” A new voice said. Kurapika’s head shot up, twisting to look. That _was_ his order, but how?

His gaze found the speaker, and Kurapika had to fight not to bolt again. Because that was- that was the guy! The extremely hot guy he’d slapped the shit out of, with the spider guts cleaned off but Kurapika’s very obvious handprint still outlined in red on his face. And somehow, he’d not only found Kurapika, but _brought him his coffee?_

Kurapika could _feel_ his neurons overheating as he tried to figure out what to do. The man raised an eyebrow, and Kurapika managed a nod. That was his coffee order, after all. 

“I’m Chrollo.” The brunet offered, setting down the cup next to Kurapika’s elbow. “And I’m given to understand that I have you to thank for killing a very nasty spider before it could bite me.” 

Well. That was one- _very_ charitable- way of putting it. 

“I’m sorry.” Kurapika mumbled. “I saw the spider and panicked.” 

Chrollo just laughed. “No harm done, and it’ll make an interesting story to tell when people ask how we met.” He said cheerfully. Kurapika might have boggled if he hadn’t still been trying to sink through the floor. 

“Why would people be asking why you met?” And there was Leorio, helpfully suspicious as always. 

Chrollo smiled. It was a very bright smile, Kurapika thought, feeling slightly dazed. “Don’t a lot of couples get asked that when they’re on a date?” 

Their entire table stared. “What?” Someone- probably Gon- finally managed.

“I’m asking if you’d like to go on a date with me.” Chrollo clarified. “Though maybe I should have started by asking for your name? I _could_ just keep calling you ‘double shot caramel macchiato with whipped cream’ but that seems like kind of a mouthful.” 

...Kurapika would really like his face to go back to its normal, much paler shade now. Not that _that_ seemed likely to happen. He might just have to resign himself to being permanently red at this rate. “I’m Kurapika.” He finally managed. “And... Yes, I’ll go on a date with you.”

Because honestly, at this point, why not? Chrollo was very handsome, clearly had a good sense of humor, and if he was willing to overlook their inauspicious first meeting then who was Kurapika to say no? It’s not like things could get _worse_. In fact, it might actually be nice not to worry about having to make a good impression on the first date. 

“Oh good, because I ditched my friends to come ask you that, and I’d never hear the end of it if you said no after that.” Chrollo said brightly. “In other news, I have several tickets for a movie starting in about ten minutes if you’d like to go on that date now.”

“Sure.” Kurapika accepted, feeling very bemused, and stood up, very carefully remembering to grab his drink this time. He waved goodbye to his friends, who were all watching with undisguised amusement, and left with his date. 

“Make sure to use protection! You know, in case of any more spiders!” Killua shouted after them. Kurapika groaned, but didn’t look back. After all that angst, he was going to have a good date with Chrollo if it _killed_ him. 

The date did not, in fact, go according to Kurapika’s hastily made plans, but the story of the dead fish, the burgundy curtains, and the buttered popcorn will have to wait for another time- and for Kurapika’s face to finally stop resembling the overripe red fruit of your choice.

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve noticed that I have a penchant for setting my KuroKura fics in coffee shops. This makes three out of three to take place at least partly in one. No regrets, but also I’m not sure what this says about me. 
> 
> Hit me up on tumblr @airilymusing if you’d like to chat!


End file.
